is falling apart around my family and i feel powerless to stop it.
i don’t know what to do with myself. i’ve ran out of new books to read and this is not going down very well. i feel lost without a book now. muse for writing has taken a nose dive, despite wanting to write something i just can’t fathom any kind of inclination to do so. i want to get out of here but lack the energy to move.
i feel like my life is at a standstill and is headed nowhere in particular - this feeling is distressing. the only thing i can do is ride it out and hope it passes quickly.
ugh. i need a change.
n. disillusionment upon rewatching a beloved pop-culture touchstone of your youth and having to confront its hand-puppet characterization, magnetic-poetry dialogue, jury-rigged plots and undisguised pandering to its audience, all of which—by the power of Grayskull—makes you wonder what else in your mental fridge is past its expiration date.
this causes me to wonder what else in my life i remember incorrectly; what other parts of me and my history would be better left forgotten and where lies the truth in all of the youthful things that created the person i am today?
n. the feeling of delicate luck after casually tossing something across the room and hitting your target so crisply and perfectly that you feel no desire to even attempt another shot, which is a more compelling argument for the concept of monogamous love than anything sung to a guitar.
n. the default expression that your face automatically reverts to when idle—amused, melancholic, pissed off—which occurs when a strong emotion gets buried and forgotten in the psychological laundry of everyday life, leaving you wearing an unintentional vibe of pink or blue or gray, or in rare cases, a tie-dye of sheer madness.
my mother says “you look just like your father!” when this happens to me. i’m never sure if i should take this as a compliment or an insult whenever she says it. despite his many MANY pitfalls, i’m glad i have something of his that no one else can lay claim to.
n. fear that your connections with people are ultimately shallow, that although your relationships feel congenial at the time, an audit of your life would produce an emotional safety deposit box of low-interest holdings and uninvested windfall profits, which will indicate you were never really at risk of joy, sacrifice or loss.
i fear this is my life. ho hum.
Here’s the [Bootleg] Anchorman 2 Trailer | Laugh Spin -
follow the link, follow the link….
i actually cannot wait for this!
n. the smallest measurable unit of human connection, typically exchanged between passing strangers—a flirtatious glance, a sympathetic nod, a shared laugh about some odd coincidence—moments that are fleeting and random but still contain powerful emotional nutrients that can alleviate the symptoms of feeling alone.